Hic Sunt Dracones

the smylere with the knyf under the cloke

The Smylere With the Knyf Under the Cloke

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife—chopping off what’s incomplete and saying: “Now it’s complete because it’s ended here.”

[Attributed to Dune: Collected Sayings of Muad’Dib by the Princess Irulan]

From fingerspitzengefühl—intuitive knowledge by experience, comes spannungsbogen—the self-imposed delay between when one begins to desire something and when one attempts to achieve or acquire it.

What does it mean really? Fingerspitzengefühl—be in cognizant. Spannungsbogen—be patient.

With [her], the only border of understanding I could reach was as far as being sympathetic to [her] cause. I try to be empathic but [her] action of late contradicts the whole sacrifice that I made the whole three years. How do you fight for [her] rights, if the only right [she] fought is [her] right to live but not [her] right to exist? [She] would be forever compelled to be indebted to Z only to survive another day breathing the stale air of captivity. That’s [her] path of existence, and to force [her] to choose my own course of action would be selfish of me. I have no more patience to be the Z’s chess piece in her sickening veneer among the commoners, and I would have let the current chaotic politics delve into the monarchy deep dark secret by themselves—if only they found out about that clandestine project and the blood behind its secrecy.

Spannungsbogen in deutsche means arc (Bogen) of tension (Spannung). Through the tensioning of the arc lays the strength of the foundation. The curved structure aging away till the keystone withers at the end of its life. The structure will crumble, and tempus fugit in epoch of its demise. I can be patience—waiting for their destruction.

What three years of patience had guided me for half a year of relationship with her? Nothing, actually, since it’s a different set of experience altogether. With [her], it cascaded from being platonic to sympathetic to being affectionate…and with her, it spouted to just being in love. Although, I still need to keep up with the theatrics, sometimes to the limit of histrionic. At least no more those suicidal tendency that came as a personal reminder every living day. The mirth, the elation, the passion does compensate her eccentricities but at least not to the point of being hysterics. Soulful to mortal soul mate, and indeed what fools these mortals be!

Meine Liebe ist schwache. The harmonics of this unpleasant melody rings true, and by her own word, it’s the truth I try to comprehend. Sometimes what I sow, to her perception, is badlands for the reaping. Do I sow dragon’s teeth for the sake of non-existence hidden agenda in the first place? Am I as bad as the old sow that eats her farrows? Thus in its fragile state, I don’t seek much clarity to this fleeting bond. According to her, there’s no more weaving to the broken strands, only the end of line. Like a knife—chopping off what’s incomplete and saying: “Now it’s complete because it’s ended here.” Whereas mine still in web of perplexity, she however always have the alternative to this finality. Ah, [his] loves is always naught from weak, and mine always not afar from being fragile—an inverted schadenfreude to my face.

Fingerspitzengefühl, and with insight to the predicament that exist in the relationship, I try not to harp discord to the distorted concord. Knowing the cord will be severed instead of being amend, I taper the line with fine abrasive and smooth lubricant—withering it—like an arch that loose its strength at the point of its weaken keystone and came tumbling down. I’m patient and I don’t want to be ill-prepared when the times come, for the best or the worst.

The best fortress from the wind for a sand dune can afford is built by the wind itself.

In zeitgeist of devotion, I’m wary of apathy, of my own and of hers.

Anything outside yourself, this you can see and apply your logic to it. But it’s a human trait that when we encounter personal problems, these things most deeply personal are the most difficult to bring out for our logic to scan. We tend to flounder around, blaming everything but the actual, deep-seated thing that’s really chewing on us.

[Attributed to Dune: Jessica speaking to Thufir Hawat]

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Written by cthulhu

April 16, 2007 at 3:05 am

Posted in life and dream

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