Hic Sunt Dracones

the smylere with the knyf under the cloke

How Shall I Remember Monday, 12th October 2009?

with 4 comments



3 months of Pipelaying Project in Miri (ongoing).

3 days of UWILD inspection under Bureau Veritas in Labuan.

6 months of relationship.

1 break-up.

Sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.
How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t. The ones who will stay from the ones who will leave.

— He’s Just Not That Into You (2009) via Bianca’s entry

Funny. When I commented on Bianca’s entry, it was meant for Ebb, not Sue.

The day after, it looks like I’m still “inside the blind spot”.

The reason?

The haunting of past memory — made anew — fueling the distrust, basking in its flame.


P.S.: I never watch the movie, of which the quote comes from.

Written by cthulhu

October 13, 2009 at 2:02 pm

4 Responses

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  1. you should watch it. lotsa scenarios, so it’d be interesting to see if any of them sound familiar :)


    November 26, 2009 at 2:15 am

  2. did watch it, and a couple of chic-flick marathon later…I think it’s safe to say — with my nihilist reaction — that I can avoid partnership, but not the idea of romance. Bah!


    November 28, 2009 at 6:50 pm

  3. avoid partnership, but not the idea of romance? meaning you are not into relationships/commitment but do still enjoy some romance in life?


    November 29, 2009 at 12:10 am

  4. Some say I kept making up excuses when it comes to commitment — say, a long month of outstation and offshore leaves — but when I do put myself into it, the past relationship seem to haunt me in a very disquieting way.

    Funny how re-tweeting the ex-gf tweet can bring up some query regarding my fidelity. I could say, the tweet is the reason for the break-up, well, not entirely of it, but it’s among of the impetus (which I blame myself). Previously it’s my blog entry used to drive up my past ex-gf up to the wall — my writing used to be acerbic, now it’s (somewhat) runny. The technology to represent idea kept changing, but the textual content always wreck havoc.

    In Miri, I strike up a conversation with a barista at the airport, from that, led to a dinner with her friend. I put up the same statement regarding my nihilistic view towards relationship, but sorely miss the passion invested in it.

    She (her friend) aptly asked the question: Am I a bitter person?

    No. Just cynical, I said.

    When the current ex-gf bought me Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, I’m hoping that I can reach her notion of love and relationship in a poetic way. Intellectually it’s satisfying, emotionally — there’s a hiccup.

    About you, Fez, you have been a great boyfriend.You were perfect except for a very destructive flaw, you remember your ex even though you do not realise it. It surfaced when we went out and your unintentional referral to things which are related to her. I have enough of crying.I can’t go on like this.Truthfully speaking, I build high hopes on our future together, then I felt deceived and shattered. Now I’m fine and I look forward to work and research. After my relationship with you, I find it difficult to trust men again. You hurt me very badly but I’m fine now.

    I never look at myself as a chauvinist, but her last word suggested that I can’t appreciate her feminine side.

    I don’t hold grudge to any of my ex-gf. There’s always a bit of the memories of the past that make you sad or smile. We can revel in our past, but to relive them is unnecessary.

    Passion-spent, hunger-sated, thirst-drown…but romance is never quiet quench.

    Monday Melodies is like that…a little joy to the aural satisfaction, but never the opus of aural orgasmic proportion.

    Excuse my drivel, I’m just being nostalgic.


    November 29, 2009 at 8:24 pm

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