Posts Tagged ‘social networking’
Finally Facebook forced me to accept their new “Myspace” layout. Next week they’ll forced feed me with gibberish status update.
I’m glad there’s still humour in the coding department.
My last entry seemed like I’m overtly enthusiastic with my old job. Whereas, the faster I finished up the task. The earlier I could take my break for the Laneway Festival in Singapore.
I know that I can’t digest the whole information in a week to create the database from zero and I don’t dare to set my own dateline before the music festival. Thus, I’m pretty much pessimistic about my presence to the festival.
At least there’s still Deftones and MGMT to look forward to.
Freelancing is fun, and scary world of responsibilities.
I’m half-way being the Subsea Engineer with a part-timer job as cinematographer, but nowhere near the 2-axis motion time-lapse videographer that I wanted to be.
February will be the month I collected few time-lapse shot of the urban cities and the rural areas for my portfolio.
March to June, a 3 month spells of HDSLR production work with Astro.
July to September, course work at TWI, Thailand or Scotland for CSWIP 3.4U Underwater Inspection Controller.
October to December, offshore work at Turkmenistan or oversea cinematography work with Manggis.tv — again.
I’ll ask her out.
— Safinaz Yazed (@phynaz) November 6, 2010
Wow, WordPress make it so easy to quote twitter with it’s new Twitter Blackbird Pie plugin. It just a matter of copy and paste the twitter link. No screenshot whatsoever (as seen on test shot on top and below). The geek in me is pleased.
Bring Tweets To Your Content: http://wp.me/pf2B5-1r4
— WordPress.com (@wordpressdotcom) November 5, 2010
And Bloglines is saved, by the people at MerchantCircle who bought it from Ask.com. Nothing can beat the user interface of this excellent RSS Aggregator (not even Google Reader). The geek in me is overwhelmingly pleased.
Now if only I can archive those tweet (minus the mention) automatically in WordPress by weekly schedule like I did with del.ico.us links.
“Do I want to continue marrying the same person who constantly makes me cry because he cannot forget his past lover and these are proven by his stalking activities on her and his continuous referral to her?” — Sue
It’s all started with that one comment:
“After a while you’ll forget everything, it was a brief interlude and a midsummer night’s fling and you’ll see that it’s time to move on…[Meat Loaf]” from my ex-gf “public” twitter. An Interlude inside the blind spot.
What I meant on that comment is I’ve to move on from the past entanglement. Funnily enough, it’s déjà vu all over again. I can see the pattern now. Sue would have a problem of me ‘stalkin’ Ebb and previously: Sewya with Amie, Ebb with Sewya, Sue with Ebb, Ms. Vava Voom with Sue…etc.
And so it’s true, it ended because of distrust:
The haunting of past memory — made anew — fueling the distrust, basking in its flame.
I’m sorry I can’t be more at a present in-real-life than what she found out about me from the internet alter-ego.
I’m always away — weeks and months. I can’t blame her. The twitter (retweet), flickr (MMO avatar set) and youtube (the small inscription at the profile) incident that she found out while I’m away justifies that much of the misunderstanding.
I took 3 days leave just to digest that one entry from her. I’m depressed. I can’t be at work desk, much less gone back to Singapore for the Aramco mob to Dubai.
I’ve been refraining myself from contacting her after that small warning from her fb last month, just after I touchdown KL from Miri.
I can’t sleep throughout the night. Yesterday, I can’t take it no more. I text her at dawn, told her how I felt. She replied passively in her blog entry. The same mode of reply after I try to reconnect the 3 month incommunicado.
Her reply summarized it all.
It’s time to delete her name from the speed dial, keeping her number still.
Take down her gift of the key chain bracelet with her name inscribed from the reading desk lamp. Her first gift that I always bring along with me whenever I gone outstation and offshore — the same goes with that “Paris Metro (Subway) System Map” (hehehe, she’s sweet, like that) and the Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet (the only author that we always cherished his works, pity that I can’t live the dream of The Prophet).
The rest, she already done emptying the vessel of this mortal heart in advance.
I compartmentalized the memories; the morning wishes, the evening sadness and the night kisses.
There’s always a bit of the memories of the past that make you sad or smile. We can revel in our past, but to relive them is unnecessary.
Take a deep breathe, and let it go.
It’s late. For the past few days, I only got to sleep after dawn. Hopefully I can sleep before dawn today.
I’m happy for her.
Something on Related Post: Rebuilding Shattered Trust
To begin the process of restoring trust, the offender must acknowledge the violation of trust and make a sincere apology. The five key components of an apology:
- A statement of apology (I’m sorry)
- Remorse (I feel badly)
- An offer of restitution (can I make up for it?)
- Self castigation (I was an idiot), and
- A request for forgiveness (can/will you forgive me)
Is there any hope for rebuilding shattered trust? Not for me — at this time.
I just got back from Singapore.
I missed a lot of thing during the span of the new year, even though I’ve been taking a day off from the very event that I’m scheduled to participate — yet job precedes ‘everything’, and the replacement leaves had been accumulating to hundred of days, exceeding 4 months.
I missed all the Steve McCurry workshop and talk last year (and the last 1st week of January 2010) due to my work.
I missed a couple of concert and art event, even though I’m just around Singapore at that time — can’t be away, since that would be MIA.
I missed the solar eclipse while I’m in Singapore — I didn’t bring my 5DM2 with me, due to excess baggage — the EPIRB (Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon) took half of my bag spaces.
I misses her — Sue.
Recent news of her dad is in a good light. He’s recuperating well. The malignant cancer receding.
I’m happy for her.
Then came the news of the accepted proposal from ‘Mr. Paint-Man’.
I’m…happy for her?
I’m at Miri offshore and Labuan onshore in the span of 3 months when we broke up. When she broke up with me with that text to my parent.
The reason: because I follow my ex-gf Twitter and the Flickr set of a virtual avatar with my ex-gf. Seriously, this is the first time social networking becomes a reason for a break-up to me.
When it comes to proposal, isn’t it my parent advice to both of us to wait for your dad condition to get better?
She did told me, she’s joining an art class while I’m away being offshore, but I’ve never thought it’s more than just canvas painting.
It’s all right to defend myself, she said but never once I’ve got the chance to meet up.
Then came the acerbic comments of her relatives and friends in the Facebook regarding me, which she finally deleted me from her list. What’s the story behind that bitterness?
I’ve revisited the spot, the gallery, the route, the eateries and the sanctum of our shared thought — the last one month after the Miri long project. I’ve never felt so distant when I’m just physically close to the shadow of that past.
It’s so kafkaesque.
That reminds me, she still has a copy of my Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Marjane Satrapi’s Persepolis. Then again, she gave me a hard copy of Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet. Maybe that’s a good deal of books swap.
Just tonight, before I read her entry. I walk along the Sushi Restaurant that we used to go. It’s one of the first time we had a long conversation. I remember when she cried when I told her how I remain supportive of her — all those years when I got back from UK. That thought alone is the strongest, on how frail humanity are without their love one. Holding her hand is comforting — like a comforting thought of mutual adoration.
Those years back from UK, we’re just friend back then, with me having a whole lot more problem with my life: dad in IJN having a by-pass surgery, my working visa being refused by UK Immigration and Customs while I got a house and bills to settle back in UK, just going through another break-up and having a fresh start with life with cynicism while the family got loads of lawsuit from relatives due to the lion’s share of the late grandfather’s wealth.
Life is full with cynicism.
I’m content with my past ex-gf who helped me to gain my confidence back, to live life optimistically. Which is ironic, when I’m the one who’s usually being the good listener, and giving other people hope and motivation.
With Sue, I’m living a hope.
I finally got a full-frame sensor Canon Eos 5D Mk II, even though I’m just a hobbyist and she’s camera shy. She’s sweet like that :)
I make an appointment with property agent to buy a house nearby her area of work, once she quit that awful university in Gombak — actually the awful part is the administration and her She-Monster boss. I’ve never told her that, about the apartment or the house.
I would sell the L lenses to afford a decent wedding. I took the 3 month project with a heavy heart because I knew the offshore allowances could at least support me for the RM10k I needed for the wedding.
I talk to my newly-wed colleagues about the procedure and all those paperwork. Which I kept the small note inside my wallet as a reminder.
When she told me about her male Arabic (and the Russian) student who keep on nagging her with marriage proposal, it’s hard to tell her to be patient and wait for me to come back from offshore.
Then the news of her dad’s illness of nasopharyngeal cancer. Which my mum advised both of us, to wait till her dad’s better health before any marriage proposal to be made — when I’m somewhere near the platform in Miri.
Just a few weeks before I gone off to Miri, I’ve invited her to meet my parent for dinner.
There’s so much hope in that small gathering amongst my siblings and parent.
That hope still alight, but it just not with her.
I wish my ex(es) as well as former female best friends happiness and serenity and I believe that we part in good terms due to differences in thoughts and outlook in life.
Oh yeah, different geography and art class.
I’m happy for her.
With only bitterness to myself.
Alcest is playing Ciel Errant from the Souvenirs d’Un Autre Monde album in the background.
How apt, as I wallow in the distant world of sleepless night.
En ouvrant les yeux le matin
Aussitôt la peine m’emplit
Mais parfois je ne ressens rien
Ou juste le vif sentiment
De ne pas être d’ici…
J’aime alors contempler le ciel
Avoir l’impression de m’envoler
vers les nuages qui passent puis s’effacent
Dans le bleu d’une mer sans fin.
By opening the eyes in the morning
Immediately the pain fills me
But sometimes I feel nothing
Or just the great feeling
Not be here …
I love when contemplating the sky
The feeling of fly
to passing clouds then fade
In the blue of an endless sea.
And for the record:
I never called Ebb or in contact with her since I dated you (Sue).
I don’t know who’s the one keep telling you lies about Ebb and me while I’m virtually incommunicado during offshore.
You (Sue) should know better.
Didn’t you experience the same state of erratic communication while I’m offshore for 6 months non-stop years back?
It’s only 3 months — and I promise to get back to you (Sue).
I got back — with discontent. Blaming my self, my job, my cynicism and my tolerance for patience for this failure.
Then I realised, what the effin’ for?
De gustibus, aut bene aut nihil.
Note to self:
What with the shopping therapy dude?
New L lens, Manfrotto monopod, Lowepro bag, Leatherman knife, Maglite and Surefire led light, Braun Buffel leather ware(s), New Balance hiking shoe(s) and Salomon attire(s)?
Start saving for the new Core i5/i7 15″ MacBook Pro or the Apple iSlate or whatever Apple going to call the tablet PC is.
And more books for the library!
Your marriage to capitalism (and intellectual) is vital!
Deep down I’m crying inside…and so does my wallet.
Written by cthulhu
January 18, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Tagged with Alcest, art class, bitterness, Ciel Errant, flickr, frail, heartbreak, humanity, insomnia, kafkaesque, life, marriage, Mr. Paint-Man, nasopharyngeal cancer, nostalgia, offshore, proposal, relationship, singapore, social networking, Souvenirs d'Un Autre Monde, sue, twitter, work
Now that they’re officially in relationships – being a couple. I can now safely steer away from being complicated to single again.
Funny how social network makes more sense in the honest truth about courtship.
I can now have closure.
I don’t think its coincidence the sudden pang of nostalgia when it rain last night.
I’m always fond of the rain. The drizzle is soothing to this fragile soul.
I’m out at wee hour, taking a ride with my roomie, not to accompany him, but rather to drive in the middle of the rain. I stayed inside the car, while the roomie going about his business. The windscreen echoed the blissful sound of the spattering rain. The light flickered under the wavy splash of deluge. I hummed to the sound of the radio in the background.
I continued the conversation with her through the wonder of mobile phone.
If we first met, the last 4 years ago, today. I would have the same monologue (almost) like this:
It’s already raining outside. Soon it poured.
I took my dad’s car key, went to the parked car at the porch, reclined the seat, and tuned to Light & Easy station. I’m listening to the dropping droplets of rain outside to the tune of the radio. I’m having a whale of a good time to myself, until my heart started to fonder to melody of romance ballad on the air wave. The sound bored into the neck of my neck instead of my ear. With bitterness, blind naivety, and with a shot of guilt for catalyst, the tune set me to the perpetual state of being pissed off. It’s the longest time before the ballad ended.
When they ask me how long
I’m gonna love you
If the road to my heart
Will always stay true
I’ll say forever
You know what Voltaire (1694–1778) the French writer and philosopher said?
The road to the heart is the ear.
I was rarely privy to the lyrics of the song I heard but after the first couple of kicks to my eardrums, it was battered by abomination. I google-ed for the song lyric and the artist and found out that Hall and Oates sang the “Forever for You” song.
But before that, here’s the irony amidst the falling rain outside the car. This tune proceeded just after the said song came into air.
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I’ve been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again
[The Cascades – Rhythm of the Rain]
The road to the heart is the ear but I rarely listen to my inner thought, thinking my gut have more nerve ending than the soft tissues inside my cranium. The rain told me just that, what a fool I’ve been. Now I’m cold, chilled to the marrow.
Light & Easy – Continuous Relaxing Favourites…what a mindfuck.
Oh, but she mindfuck me better than this, and that’s a compliment.
That’s actually a monologue, the past 4 years ago.
I’m just being a nostalgic fool.
The drowning man is not troubled by rain.
When she asked me the question.
I had enough reflection of you cerebrally. I want to hold the stillness of your embrace.
Watch TV much?
And what did we do with that free time? Well, mostly we spent it watching TV.
We did that for decades. We watched I Love Lucy. We watched Gilligan’s Island. We watch Malcolm in the Middle. We watch Desperate Housewives. Desperate Housewives essentially functioned as a kind of cognitive heat sink, dissipating thinking that might otherwise have built up and caused society to overheat.
Social networking, social bookmarking and wikis. Where do people find the time?
So how big is that surplus? So if you take Wikipedia as a kind of unit, all of Wikipedia, the whole project–every page, every edit, every talk page, every line of code, in every language that Wikipedia exists in–that represents something like the cumulation of 100 million hours of human thought. I worked this out with Martin Wattenberg at IBM; it’s a back-of-the-envelope calculation, but it’s the right order of magnitude, about 100 million hours of thought.
And television watching? Two hundred billion hours, in the U.S. alone, every year. Put another way, now that we have a unit, that’s 2,000 Wikipedia projects a year spent watching television. Or put still another way, in the U.S., we spend 100 million hours every weekend, just watching the ads. This is a pretty big surplus. People asking, “Where do they find the time?” when they’re looking at things like Wikipedia don’t understand how tiny that entire project is, as a carve-out of this asset that’s finally being dragged into what Tim calls an architecture of participation.
Now, the interesting thing about a surplus like that is that society doesn’t know what to do with it at first–hence the gin, hence the sitcoms. Because if people knew what to do with a surplus with reference to the existing social institutions, then it wouldn’t be a surplus, would it? It’s precisely when no one has any idea how to deploy something that people have to start experimenting with it, in order for the surplus to get integrated, and the course of that integration can transform society.
And it’s only now, as we’re waking up from that collective bender, that we’re starting to see the cognitive surplus as an asset rather than as a crisis. We’re seeing things being designed to take advantage of that surplus, to deploy it in ways more engaging than just having a TV in everybody’s basement.
Then again, when they do get into the internet, knowledge is not really one of their objective. Take my colleague(s) for instance. The arc of the internet pathway is more to the tangent of social networking of friendster, myspace and facebook; than social networking of photography and art like Flickr and deviantART.
Social bookmarking like Slashdot, Digg, del.icio.us and StumbleUpon is more likely to be a filler for surfing experience, rather than participating, and sharing.
Podcast is under utilized. Apple iTunes even got iTunes U for anyone on the road of lifelong learning. Apple iPod shouldn’t just be a music boom box through the ear canal. There’s one special section for podcast if you even care to look.
So there. GTFO.
In retrospect, you deleted mine first in the facebook.
Activity in myspace is almost next to nil.
No friendster, no you?
Delete. Delete. Delete.
What’s the fuss?