Hic Sunt Dracones

the smylere with the knyf under the cloke

Posts Tagged ‘youtube

Sometimes It Lasts in Love But Sometimes It Hurts Instead

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Adele – Someone Like You

If you ever had a broken heart, you’re about to remember it now.

Written by cthulhu

February 19, 2011 at 11:49 am

Rumah Anak Teater, Street Theater: RAGUT

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I cut it off during the embedded heckler intervention — nice touch to the skit. Shame I didn’t record it until the end.

I got a problem uploading HD file on youtube and vimeo only have 500 MB limit per week. I try to reduce the 1080p to 640, but it got blocky artifacts even with 5000 bit rate. Exporting to 720p turns out decent.

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Raw upload, no colour grading.

Shot with Canon EOS 5D Mark II, wide open f/2.0 with Canon EF 135mm f/2L USM, 29.97fps, 1/30 s, ISO 1600.

Mounted on Manfrotto monopod. Internal microphone.

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Here’s Malaysiakini viceo clip, that captured the ending of the skit.

Her Reasons for Separation and Rebuilding Trust

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“Do I want to continue marrying the same person who constantly makes me cry because he cannot forget his past lover and these are proven by his stalking activities on her and his continuous referral to her?” — Sue

It’s all started with that one comment:

“After a while you’ll forget everything, it was a brief interlude and a midsummer night’s fling and you’ll see that it’s time to move on…[Meat Loaf]” from my ex-gf “public” twitter. An Interlude inside the blind spot.

What I meant on that comment is I’ve to move on from the past entanglement. Funnily enough, it’s déjà vu all over again. I can see the pattern now. Sue would have a problem of me ‘stalkin’ Ebb and previously: Sewya with Amie, Ebb with Sewya, Sue with Ebb, Ms. Vava Voom with Sue…etc.

And so it’s true, it ended because of distrust:

The haunting of past memory — made anew — fueling the distrust, basking in its flame.

I’m sorry I can’t be more at a present in-real-life than what she found out about me from the internet alter-ego.

I’m always away — weeks and months. I can’t blame her. The twitter (retweet), flickr (MMO avatar set) and youtube (the small inscription at the profile) incident that she found out while I’m away justifies that much of the misunderstanding.

I took 3 days leave just to digest that one entry from her. I’m depressed. I can’t be at work desk, much less gone back to Singapore for the Aramco mob to Dubai.

I’ve been refraining myself from contacting her after that small warning from her fb last month, just after I touchdown KL from Miri.

I can’t sleep throughout the night. Yesterday, I can’t take it no more. I text her at dawn, told her how I felt. She replied passively in her blog entry. The same mode of reply after I try to reconnect the 3 month incommunicado.

Her reply summarized it all.

It’s time to delete her name from the speed dial, keeping her number still.

Take down her gift of the key chain bracelet with her name inscribed from the reading desk lamp. Her first gift that I always bring along with me whenever I gone outstation and offshore — the same goes with that “Paris Metro (Subway) System Map” (hehehe, she’s sweet, like that) and the Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet (the only author that we always cherished his works, pity that I can’t live the dream of The Prophet).

The rest, she already done emptying the vessel of this mortal heart in advance.

I compartmentalized the memories; the morning wishes, the evening sadness and the night kisses.

There’s always a bit of the memories of the past that make you sad or smile. We can revel in our past, but to relive them is unnecessary.

Take a deep breathe, and let it go.

I love you, Sue. I’m going to miss you, Miss 5S.

It’s late. For the past few days, I only got to sleep after dawn. Hopefully I can sleep before dawn today.

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He loves her more.

I’m happy for her.

verklempt.

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Something on Related Post: Rebuilding Shattered Trust

To begin the process of restoring trust, the offender must acknowledge the violation of trust and make a sincere apology. The five key components of an apology:

  1. A statement of apology (I’m sorry)
  2. Remorse (I feel badly)
  3. An offer of restitution (can I make up for it?)
  4. Self castigation (I was an idiot), and
  5. A request for forgiveness (can/will you forgive me)

Is there any hope for rebuilding shattered trust? Not for me — at this time.

Haiku Wednesday: Seven Horses Seem to Be on the Mark

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Malady comes to pass,
Darkness at bay,
Be strong as I pray thee well.

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Title inspiration from The Doors – Love Her Madly.

Heard this song on Business FM. Reminded me of Melaka during my teen, as the family having the usual night drive on a very warm night.

The cassette player (it’s the 90’s) seemed to play this track each time (by Jim Morrison providence!) as we reached the Portuguese community somewhere around Tanjung Kling.

Portuguese connection reminds me of Sue, and her late grandfather, Ian.

And then, it reminds me of her dad.

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Sue, I pray for your dad’s health (and yourself too).

I know you won’t answer any of my call (text or e-mail) anymore.

This is my last reply. I will not contact you any longer. The past is no longer relevant for me now as I’m already focusing on the horrible present and uncertain future.

I guess, this ‘proxy’ is suffice.

Be strong.

Yes, it’s horrible. It’s uncertain.

But be strong.

Written by cthulhu

December 23, 2009 at 3:03 am

What Your Teacher Didn’t Tell You

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Attended book launch at Annexe Gallery yesterday — Dr. Farish A. Noor’s “What Your Teacher Didn’t Tell You: The Annexe Lectures Vol.1”.

There’s some musical and poetry performances before Farish and Sara (the 5-years-old fairy child) launch his latest book.

The usual literature crowd is there — Sharon Bakar, Dina Zaman, Ahmad Kamal Abu Bakar and of course Amir Muhammad. Oh, happy birthday to you and Walt Disney (December 5, 1901) too.

Some picture that I snapped can be found at the Facebook Event Page.

Managed to get Dizzy & The (Liyana & Alia) 200th self-titled EP (Juice Magazine’s Best Spoken Word Album of 2009). Got Liy and Alia to scribble the “lastest and specialest CD” too.

On a different note: I knew Liy from Hazeryl, who’s my ex-housemate 2 years ago, and my office is just nearby IMU. Been meaning to attend their gig, but my offshore work pretty much destroy that dreams. It’s just a sheer coincidences they were in for the second opening performance before the book launch. The first opening performance of the acoustic guitar is wonderful, pity I forgot the guitarist name. (UPDATE: Pang Kee Teik said “His name is Sherry”, Dizzy said “Sharidir” — “…he usually performs with Nizam and I think he’s really good”)

Here’s youtube video that I uploaded. Re-encoded from 1920×1080 to 640×360 (16:9), original 30 fps, 4080kbps bitrate, with H.264/AVC video codec. I apologize for the vibration due to hand-held caption in nature, I didn’t bring a monopod nor tripod:

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Splurge around RM1.6k at The Gardens in a day before attending the book launch. Replacing my worn out shoes, wallet, belt and mouse. Most of them aging from 5 years to 17 years (the faithful leather wallet). Been eyeing Camper’s Pelotas at the boutique, sadly it have pig skin lining, bah humbug! Here’s funny excerpt from the facebook regarding Camper vs Rockport:

I’ve been to Camper outlet before Rockport at The Gardens. Most of the leather shoes, including my favourite Pelotas design have pig skin lining — that’s why it’s the most comfortable shoes in the whole wide world!

Rockport only uses the best baby skin lining — cannibalized from the abortion clinic. Comfy!

Oink, oink!

Got the free Starbucks 2010 Planner too, well, not really free — need to consume a couple of 2 shots of espresso (grande size) coffee before hand. Thank you Alin, Nana and Mel at Starbucks Miri for the warm welcome at the Miri Airport — best Starbucks manager cum barista ever, and I only say that because of the free drinks and dinner. Hahaha!

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The shopping and the social life apart. Sue didn’t come to the event (book launch), and from her reply, I don’t think we going to cross our path too soon.

This is my last reply. I will not contact you any longer. The past is no longer relevant for me now as I’m already focusing on the horrible present and uncertain future.

Sigh.

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Packing for Singapore. Preparing for next job in Indian Ocean and Gulf of Thailand.

Looks like my 4 months worth of offshore leaves stay as my 3 month resignation leaves plus 1 month diving holiday at Bora-Bora Island — yeah, right!