Hic Sunt Dracones

the smylere with the knyf under the cloke

The Tomes

ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

Readers may be divided into four classes:

  1. Sponges, who absorb all they read and return it nearly in the same state, only a little dirtied.
  2. Sand-glasses, who retain nothing, and are content to get through a book for the sake of getting through the time.
  3. Strain-bags, who retain merely the dregs of what they read, and return it nearly in the same state, only a little dirtied.
  4. Mogul diamonds, equally rare and valuable, who profit by what they read, and reflecting, refracting, and enlarging upon it enable others to profit by it also.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834), British poet.

I deduced in an ingenious diffusion of disingenuous gestalt logical fallacy bordering the nonsensical ETAOIN SHRDLU in reference to the collection of literatures that I had—or have—read.

The Tomes:

  • I read C.S Lewis, Lewis Carroll, and Vladimir Nobokov and it evoke paedophilia and Lolita-complex interpretation,
  • to smirk Oscar Wilde, Poppy Z. Brite, William Somerset Maugham and Walt Whitman is to be a homophobic,
  • to sexualize Larry Flint, Hugh Hefner, Kama Sutra (Vatsyayana) and The Joy of Sex (Alex Comfort) is to imply perversion,
  • to approve Marquis de Sade, Henry Miller and Bret Easton Ellis is to consent sadism,
  • to fantasize the Brontë sisters (Anne Brontë, Charlotte Brontë and Emily Brontë) is to propose as premise of threesome incestuous sapphism,
  • to endorse Judy Blume, Maya Angelou, Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mary Wollstonecraft is to support the activism and feminism,
  • to indulge in H.P Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos, Aleister Crowley’s occult, Anne Rice’s vampirism, Edgar Allan Poe’s macabre and Stephen King’s horror is to be subconsciously morbid and eccentric,
  • to adore John William Polidori, William Thomas Beckford, Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker is to be fond of gothic,
  • to understand Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid (Douglas Hofstadter) and Stephen Hawking is to comprehend the logic, science and mathematics,
  • to criticize Haruki Murakami and Chuck Palahniuk is to criticize pop literature,
  • to discover Mein Kampf (Adolf Hitler) and Das Kapital (Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels) is to be averse of democracy,
  • to decriminalize The Manual of Crime and The Anarchist Cookbook (William Powell) is to value freedom of speech,
  • to defend Western imperialism is to defend Rudyard Kipling who coined the phrase “The White Man’s Burden”,
  • to gorge Michael Crichton, Timothy Zahn, Tom Clancy, Kevin J. Anderson, William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Larry Niven, Robert Jordan, Carl Sagan, Isaac Asimov, H.G. Wells, Arthur C. Clark, Philip K. Dick and Roger Zelazney is to be a conspicuous geek,
  • to chuckle along with Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams is to be amused with their British wit and creativity,
  • to appreciate J.R.R. Tolkien, Frank Herbert, Homer (Iliad and The Odyssey) and Beowulf is to appreciate an epic,
  • to emulate Franz Kafka and James Joyce is to be an eccentric modernist,
  • to imitate Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, H. L. Mencken and Ambrose Bierce is to be a satirist,
  • to peruse John Milton, Dante Alighieri, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thomas Paine and Ralph Waldo Emerson is to be philosophical,
  • to content with Albert Camus is to pursue Absurdism and be suicidal,
  • to misinterpret the title Life of Pi (Yann Martel) is to misconstrue it as the Fundamental of 3.142 or pronounce it with silence “h” it mayhap mistranslated as The Divine 1.618,
  • to parable J.D. Salinger and Joseph Heller is to be a rebel,
  • to discern George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, Alex Haley, Anthony Burgess, William G. Golding and Joseph Conrad is to doubt humanity,
  • to evaluate Leo Tolstoy, Boris Pasternak and Nathaniel Hawthorne is to be a moralist,
  • to acknowledge Pramoedya Ananta Toer, V.S. Naipaul and Arundhati Roy is to embrace conflicts of traditional culture,
  • to dabble with Salman Rushdie is to experience magic realism and to be contempt of blasphemy,
  • to follow the dream of Paulo Coelho and Ernesto “Che” Guevara is to be on the quest of pilgrimage and discovery,
  • to examine Martin Luther, John Bunyan, Voltaire, René Descartes and John Locke is to study idealism,
  • to celebrate Geoffrey Chaucer (1343–1400), Miguel de Cervantes (1547–1616), William Shakespeare (1564–1616), Jonathan Swift (1667–1745), Charles Dickens (1812–1870), Alexandre Dumas (1802–1870) is to celebrate classical literature,
  • to romanticise Jean-Jacques Rousseau, William Wordsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Percy Bysshe Shelley, John Keats, Lord Byron, Lord Tennyson, George Eliot and Victor Hugo is to idealize Romanticism,
  • to recite Sir Walter Raleigh, William Butler Yeats, William Blake, Emily Dickinson, the Brontë sisters, T.S. Eliot and Robert Frost is to be wary of life,
  • to typify e.e. cummings is to type in lower case,
  • to experience Arthur Conan Doyle, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Henry Rider Haggard, Jules Verne, Herman Melville, Robert Louis Stevenson and Sax Rohmer is to value imagination,
  • to praise John Steinbeck and Pearl S. Buck is to acknowledge the social realism of indigent and integrity,
  • to epitomize Ernest Hemingway is to personify stoicism and being reclusive,
  • to chronicle James Clavell is to account the multicultural Asian Saga and to recollect the classic films of To Sir, With Love, The Great Escape and The Fly,
  • to quote Noam Chomsky is to be a pedantic linguist erudite and a persnickety political activist,
  • to reminisce Roald Dahl is to be reminded of Quentin Blake minimalist illustration and hinting the morbid zeal similarity of Tim Burton’s The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy: and Other Stories,
  • Iqra, and I read Kitab Al-Azif and Kitab Al-Quran with distinct sense of zeal and piety.


  • Graphic Novels: Alan Moore, Frank Miller, Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon, Grant Morrison, Mike Mignola, Neil Gaiman, Dave McKean, Bill Willingham, Mark Buckingham, Brian Azzarello, Brian K. Vaughan, Steven T. Seagle, Sergio Aragonés, Paul Chadwick, Greg Rucka, Will Eisner, Joe Kubert, Art Spiegelman, Hergé, Jeff Smith, P. Craig Russell, Dave Gibbons, Jacen Burrows, Michael Turner, Marc Silvestri, Jim Lee, Brandon Choi, J. Scott Campbell, Randy Queen, Chris Bachalo, Todd McFarlane, Greg Capullo, Simon Bisley, Steve Niles, Ben Templesmith, Alex Ross, Ashley Wood, Andy Diggle & Jock, Joseph Michael Linsner, David Mack, Matt Wagner and Jhonen Vasquez.
  • Manga: Tsutomu Nihei, Hiroya Oku, Hiroaki Samura, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Katsuhiro Otomo, Masamune Shirow, Masashi Tanaka, Yasuhiro Nightow, Ito Ogure (Oh! Great), Yoshitoshi Abe, Kenichi Sonoda, Kiyohiko Azuma, Eiji Otsuka & Sho-u Tajima and Yoshitaka Amano.
  • Comic Strips: Bill Watterson, Scott Adams, Charles M. Schulz, Frank Cho and Garry Trudeau.
  • Web Comics: Megatokyo, VG Cats, Applegeeks, Ctrl-Alt-Del, Mac Hall, PVP Online, Penny Arcade, User Friendly and Exploitation Now.
  • Artbooks: Luis Royo, Hajime Sorayama, John Howe, Alan Lee, Frank Frazetta, Alfonso Azpiri, Tim & Greg Hildebrandt, Paolo Serpieri, Gerald Brom, Milo Manara, Boris Vallejo, Julie Bell, Maurits Cornelis Escher, Ralph McQuarrie and Doug Chiang.
  • Photography: Don McCullin and Henri Cartier-Bresson.

Written by cthulhu

June 30, 2007 at 1:54 am

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